


Journal IX [Foreword ONLY]

by all_possible_worlds



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Incomplete, Other, Will probably never be continued, foreword
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22813516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_possible_worlds/pseuds/all_possible_worlds
Summary: The greatest fanfic I never wrote. Published for the amusement of Cartoon_Idiot_59.Warning: This is literally a 900 words teaser. The full story doesn't exist. Sorry.I wrote the "Foreword" (prologue, really) for this story before I embarked in writing my bizarre Star vs the Forces of Evil fanfic "I Summon the All-Seeing Eye". At the time, that one was going to be only a one-shot NSFW fic, and this was going to be the 50+ chapters monstrosity. Now, that fic is in chapter 44, and this one will never be written.If you want a proper story, with a beginning, middle, and end, shall I recommend Cartoon_Idiot_59's "At the Iceberg of Insanity", which prompted me to finally put this out there?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Journal IX [Foreword ONLY]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cartoon_Idiot_59](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cartoon_Idiot_59/gifts).



> An old teaser draft is poor exchange for a full tale, my dear CI59, but I figured it's better than nothing.

## Journal IX

### Foreword

It has been the long standing policy of the authors of these volumes to minimize the personal information contained herein. Originally, this was carried chiefly out of habit, since the research written down in these journals was not exactly intended for the eyes of any uninvolved party in its present form. Later, it became a matter of preserving our personal safety. 

While the knowledge contained in these notes has undeniable proven useful to others in the past, not all who have stumbled upon this manner of research have been shown to be trustworthy. It was my honest assessment, until fairly recently, that to be excessively forthright with my identity would have only imperiled my own life and that of those close to me, while providing nothing commensurate by way of benefit to a like-minded reader. 

For this latest installment, however, with full due consideration taken and no small amount of trepidation, I have decided to reverse that policy. I have no loved ones left to be put in mortal danger, and I fear my own days are numbered no matter what further secrets I chose to divulge or keep. The enemies I most fear already know much about me and mine, possibly more than even I myself can claim to understand. Given those particulars, perhaps a more complete account of the personal experiences that led me to this grim fate might in the end prove more useful to future readers than any academic descriptions of the horrors I have encountered along my way.

I do not advise you to read these tomes for pleasure, or out of any misplaced spirit of inquiry. In fact, if there is a warning I truly wished any hypothetical readers to heed, knowing full well that I myself would have - to my fatal detriment - ignored such words back when it all started, it is the following: Turn back now. Do not read any further than you already have. There are matters in these pages such that mere knowledge of the subject will put you in mortal peril... if you are not already so endangered. 

If you have run into any of the other eight journals before this one, please destroy them immediately, specially those after the first three. There is no glory in following my footsteps, no greater knowledge in my notes that is not also throughly tainted with horror, no path walked by me that does not lead inevitably to death and to things far worse than death. Where my journey ventured, no wise man would ever wish to follow. If this is the first of the journals you have run into, consider yourself lucky, close it and leave it undisturbed. Do not read on unless you have already walked down this road far past the point of no return. If you have, I can only offer a useless apology, and a few explanations. From one dead man to another.

So, you are still reading? 

Are you certain?

Please, I beg you! Read no further!

Very well, then, but do not say I did not warn you...

My name is Dipper Pines, you will not find the name on any birth registry or any official record, but it is more truly my name than any other you may encounter in its place. I am 28 years old and the author of the second half of these volumes, journals four to nine - the ones with the little conifer logo. 

The author of the first three journals was my late grunkle, Stanford Pines. You can tell those volumes apart easily by the six-fingered palm on the cover, and by the greater degree of common sense exhibited within their descriptions. Once more, if you have only read those first few volumes, or if you have not yet personally encountered the darker things mentioned in journals five and onwards, this would be a good point for you to stop reading and walk away with your sanity unharmed, your soul untainted and your future extant.

My initial encounters with the paranormal began in the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon. Suffice to say that the place is a magnet for the weird and unexplained and will likely remain so long after my time. If you wish to dig around unexplained phenomena, I suggest you head there. 

The town is unmapped, but those who seek the place will rarely fail to find it. I could tell you more about the adventures me and my twin sister lived through during our thirteen Summer, when we lived with grunkle Stan in that peculiar town. However, as the locals say: never mind all that. 

Should you be unhealthily curious about the paranormal, I invite you to investigate the mysteries of Gravity Falls yourself; two of the first three journals should still be hidden somewhere in town, even now, and the dangers in that particular quest are like those of a children's playground compared to the horrors I encountered later on in life. 

Two pieces of advice, however, would have saved me and my grunkle a whole lot of trouble back then, so I shall relay them to you, my dear reader: First, do not trust or bargain with any inter-dimensional beings, specially those of the trilateral persuasion. In fact, stay away from inter-dimensional contact or travel of any sort. Second, never let yourself be peer-pressured into proving your manliness to a herd of semi-humanoid bovines by wrestling a conjoined ursidae abomination. Turns out you don't need their approval, and the multibear is a pretty chill dude.

Now, onto less pleasant matters...

**Author's Note:**

> Won't be continued. This was written in 2017. I don't even remember the plot I had in mind then.
> 
> Want Lovecraft meets Gravity Falls, but like, a proper story, with a beginning, middle, and end? Check out Cartoon_Idiot_59's ["At the Iceberg of Insanity"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22804495)
> 
> Want a monster of a fic by me about the size of what this was going to be? Don't mind that I picked a doomed fandom in the form of Star vs the Forces of Evil? Take a look at: ["I Summon the All-Seeing Eye"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10583730) (Plot with porn) or ["Squire of the Wash"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398504) (Plot without porn)


End file.
